Category: Joke Board
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves,
is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with
Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come
Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
* *
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine
and thank you for asking about them.
Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and
texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good
boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.*
Merry Christmas,*
Santa Claus
* *
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by you I might
add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have
asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of
litigation. Also, don't you think that a jab at my weight coming from an
overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
* *
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you
that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of
services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your
right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since
the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be
more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I
alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social
skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of
the Burger King fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
* *
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be
polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you
just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys
and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my
game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
* *
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one
night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when
you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know
what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your shit wired, Jack. I go
all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right
now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's
basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your
crib to stomp a mud hole in
your ass and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Petunia.
S Clizzy
* *
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
* *
Timmy,
That's what I thought you little bastard.
Santa
lol
Oh, Becky, Becky. hahahaha. *sigh*
love it. lol
lmao awesome
LOL, awesome.
These jokes are better than the shit that used to go around at the office when I worked in a adult cubby known as a cube.
Great one, and thanks for starting my vacation off with a good laugh!
lol. good one :)
what a great post
:D excellent.
hahahaha! Awesome! Did you write that? Great! Lol! Santa getting all gangster lol!! and Timmy's lil reply at the end..hahaha!